Choosing Yourself Over Bros + Hoes

Photo by Jorge Flores on Unsplash

Sometimes, you met someone and you click right away.
You have something in common, you become fast friends.
You build on your relationship, attend events together… travel together.
Next thing you know, you’re speaking to them on a daily bases.

Things are smooth for a few years.
They’re your partner-in-crime, the dynamic duo.

Then something happens. And your opinion of them starts to shift.

You realize twenty-three year old you isn’t the same person at twenty-nine. You don’t enjoy the same things. You’ve developed an understanding of who you really are.

But this friend, your partner-in-crime, hasn’t changed. They are still that same person, still chasing the excitement of your mid-twenties. Still making unhealthy decisions that you’ve learned to eradicate.

Or they aren’t the same person either. They have grown into someone with different morals and beliefs then yourself. Someone who now sees life different from your own image.

Either way, you hit a point in your friendship where it’s time to decide. Evolve or let it expire.

I’m sure everyone has found themselves in a position similar to this at one point in their lives. Or you’re currently in the middle of one of these moments. As we get deeper into the first month of the new year, I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships, as a whole. Making decisions that are right for me, oppose to the greater good.

I am a firm believer that this is one of those decisions that you need to make for yourself. No one else can decide if this shift is aligned with your present, or if it should remain in the past. If the friendship no longer serves you, as in, it does not bring you joy. It no longer needs to exist.

Now there are some situations that require thought and less hast. You’ll know if that’s your circumstance.

Most friendships can evolve. Become something else.
Other times, they can not. And that’s okay.

But it can be difficult to end these relationships. Some may feel as though they are loosing a profound connection. And it may have been, but if you’re capable of saying it no longer serves you, then it is no longer profound.

It is fond memory. And a fond memory you are allowed to keep.
So keep those memories, and don’t burn bridges.

But always remember to love yourself first, and do what’s necessary to bring joy and light into your life.


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